In the future we'll all be gay
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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