bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
