i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
