I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
