Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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