The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
