You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
