I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize