I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
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