his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
