Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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