glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
