you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
