I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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