I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
