ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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