So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
