Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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