I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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