so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
