my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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