when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
