Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
