im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
