Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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