Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
