Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
