doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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