all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
