bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
