FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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