I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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