i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We just shotgunned beers for America
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
