it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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