Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
