Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
