Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
