I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
