if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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