the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
