The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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