I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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