no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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