College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize