Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
