Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
two words: eviction party
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize