how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize