ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
