I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
