i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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