please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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