dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
