So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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