I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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