we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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