he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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