maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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