Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
