bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
