Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
its not stalking. its research.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
