he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
