just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
