this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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