I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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