Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
