just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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