My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
