And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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