I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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