Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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