Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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