Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
