just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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