I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
